A Beginner’s Guide to Cricket by Piers Morgan for Confused Americans

Witnessing cricket matches being played in New York, with large crowds in attendance, was something I never expected to see.

Yet, that is exactly what is happening now with the Twelve20 World Cup tournament taking place at venues in the USA and the Caribbean.

Surprisingly, this is not the first time this has occurred.

It’s interesting to note that cricket used to be America’s most popular sport until the Civil War, when it was transformed into baseball by soldiers seeking a simpler, more American game.

This historic sport may now be making a comeback.

In 1844, 5000 people attended the first-ever international cricket match in New York, which saw America play against Canada.

Last week, 5000 spectators watched the USA defeat Pakistan in New York, marking an unexpected and thrilling win that has the potential to revitalize interest in cricket in the world’s largest sports market. 

However, it’s understandable that for many Americans, cricket still remains synonymous with a noisy insect. 

 So, here’s a comprehensive guide to the complexities of the world’s greatest game:

1. The origins of cricket date back to Saxon and Norman times in the south-east of England. It evolved into our national sport by the 17th Century, with three main forms of the game now played – Test match (five days), ODI (one day), and T20 (three hours).
2. A deliberate effort was made to make cricket complicated enough to deter Americans from playing it. This strategic move aimed to prevent Americans from self-declaring themselves as World Champions, a tendency seen in other sports. Cricket can be likened to baseball for individuals with higher IQs.
3. A popular English tea towel titled ‘Cricket: As explained to a foreigner’ humorously breaks down the game for Americans who assume everyone in England speaks like Dick Van Dyke. It highlights the intricacies of the game in a comical manner.
4. Cricket matches can be lengthy and boring, serving as a final deterrent for potential enthusiasts. A Test series can span five matches, each lasting five days, with six hours of play per day. Despite hours of play, a series can end in a draw with no winner, showcasing the true endurance required to enjoy the sport.
5. The objective of the game is to score as many runs as possible, a term that does not refer to gastrointestinal issues but rather success in cricket.
6. In cricket, the pitcher is referred to as a ‘bowler,’ and they deliver the ball towards the ‘wicket’ where the batsman stands. The various bowling techniques are named creatively and pose challenges to the batsmen.
7. Horrendous bowling is termed as ‘Buffet bowling,’ allowing batsmen to easily secure runs.
8. Cricket balls are heavier than baseballs and are made of cork with a stitched leather cover. Getting hit by a fast ball can be excruciating for batsmen, making protection crucial.
9. Fast bowlers can reach speeds exceeding 100mph, sometimes intentionally aiming to injure batsmen. The aggressive nature of bowling adds an element of danger to the game.
10. Fielders in cricket do not wear gloves except for the ‘wicket-keeper,’ highlighting the sport’s emphasis on toughness and resilience.
11. Terming a fielder’s error as a ‘Dolly Drop’ reflects the teasing nature prevalent in cricket, with humorous jibes directed towards the player.
12. Being dismissed without scoring is called a ‘Duck,’ with variations like ‘Golden Duck’ and ‘Diamond Duck’ adding humor to the narrative. A ‘King Pair Duck’ underscores a batsman’s struggle in the game.
13. A remarkable delivery by a bowler is labeled a ‘jaffa,’ evoking imagery of a delectable treat akin to the Jaffa Cake biscuit. The term signifies excellence in bowling.
14. The cricket legend Sir Donald Bradman achieved unparalleled success, making him the greatest of all time in the sport. His exceptional batting average far surpasses that of any other player in history, solidifying his legacy.
15. Given the lengthy duration of cricket matches, consuming copious amounts of alcohol is a common practice among spectators, enhancing the viewing experience alongside traditional snacks.
16. Partaking in cucumber sandwiches is a cultural expectation at cricket matches, symbolizing a quintessential English tradition.
17. ‘Sledging,’ or verbal taunting, is an integral aspect of cricket, adding a competitive edge to the game. Witty banter between players plays a significant role in match dynamics.
18. The historic rivalry between England and Australia, known as The Ashes, dates back to the 19th century and instills a sense of intense competition between the two nations.
19. Brian Lara stands out as a legendary batsman of modern times, showcasing exceptional talent and skill on the cricket field.
20. The late Robin Williams humorously likened cricket to a calmer version of baseball, emphasizing the sport’s unique pace.