Comedians make risky jokes, that’s why they’re funny

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Comedy goes slap happy

Hotshot comedian Judy Gold: “Comedy’s changed. Everybody’s now uptight.

“Now there’s no fourth wall. No more just drunks. Or hecklers. Today they come at you with knives. There’s no control. Once there’d be warnings before you go onstage. Like, watch, a bachelorette party’s out there. Or, that dude on the left is wasted.

“In modern times everything’s out of control. Look, if you don’t like a sarcastic comedian — don’t go see him. It’s not all about you! The comedian doesn’t know about your childhood trauma, recent fight with your wife or what you’re going through right now. We’re not combatants.

“We’re just trying to make you laugh. People need to laugh. It’s a release. A way to get rid of tension. Comedy’s a weapon but no more do I bother with funny lines to stop a heckler. Now I just shut them down. Like, ‘How much attention you need? Do I go to your job and start screaming where you’re working?’

“In the old days, insult comedians like Don Rickles picking on you was a badge of honor. Not anymore. In these new days everyone’s so sensitive.”

(Link for her shows, if you want it:

Forgotten elephants?

NY Court of Appeals heard a case against the Bronx Zoo. Per law: “A person illegally imprisoned may petition for a writ of habeas corpus” to seek freedom. The Nonhuman Rights Project wants Asian elephant Happy, 48, happy and moved, after 45 years, from her 1-acre compound to a 2,300-acre sanctuary.

Lower courts ruled that an animal having same rights as a person creates problems.

In this Oct. 2, 2018 file photo, Bronx Zoo elephant "Happy" strolls inside the zoo's Asia Habitat in New York.
Advocates at the Nonhuman Rights Project are arguing in court that Bronx Zoo elephant “Happy” is a person.
AP/Bebeto Matthews

Brought here age 1, named for one of the Seven Dwarfs, she arrived with fellow elephant Grumpy, who has since passed on.

Happy lives alongside other elephant, Patty. The enclosure’s more room than a house share in the Hamptons.

The state of affairs

APOLOGIES to my colleagues. If my editor says, “Shut up. Just write about Pete Davidson and Amber Heard and not about politics,” I understand my next column could be in the Tulsa Times. But I am a passionate American. I love my country.

I ask: What is happening to us? This world’s greatest most fabulous nation? A White House occupant who wobbles, fumbles, burbles, can barely zip his pants? Could pee in some dignitary’s lobby? Hardly knows he’s where?

Can’t handle the border, climate change, COVID, economy, government, immigrant invasion, stock market, prices, employment, poverty, food problems, foreign threats, gasoline situation, homelessness, foreign threats, press interviews or his own kin whose gloves may touch Krazy Glue?

No. 1 greatest country on Earth, our leader’s a loser who maybe can’t even locate the toilet alone. And why have we him?

May no one deny any American’s voting choice. But it’s Trump hate and planted poison that elected this alleged cerebellumless cretin.

U.S. President Joe Biden attends a press conference with Japan's Prime Minister Fumio Kishida at Akasaka Palace state guest house in Tokyo Monday, May 23, 2022.
President Joe Biden’s presidency has been plagued with a number of problems, most recently the record-breaking cost of gas.
Nicolas Datiche/Pool Photo via AP

As for his VP? Whom he didn’t respect before? She is now just a cutout.

Knowing spineless Joe Poopden can’t even wrangle an illegal immigrant off our border — Putin never rated Donald a loser.

HOLIDAY weekend’s coming. Sign in used car lot: “If your headlights break, don’t stop to fix them at night. Just put your radio on loud. This helps mute the crash noise.”

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

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