Flood of woe for first lady
I spent 2009 in Reykjavik. Ólafur Ragnar Grimsson was then-president of Iceland.
At lunch in the presidential dining room first lady Dorrit Moussaieff — whose Israeli family deals in major jewels — featured jeans, thigh-high boots and diamonds. Plus her German shepherd.
One afternoon later she came to my home.
Joan Rivers arrived covered in the fake-o junkola jewelry she sold on TV.
Dorrit? Two long, long, long ropes of real white pearls. Huge. Each bead the size of a kneecap.
As a joke, Joan suggested trading jewelry for the afternoon. They did.
Joan wore the pricey knee-length pearls and Dorrit sported Joan’s crapola. This is to show how easy and good-natured is Dorrit.
Part 2: Dorrit’s London apartment suffered a flood. This was years back and I reported it then.
She believes it might’ve resulted from a fellow resident’s pad.
That fellow resident just bought an insanely expensive shack in the Hamptons and a massive NYC townhouse for north of $50 million.
Recently, there was another flood in the building.
This one, Dorrit believes, came from another fellow resident’s apartment — the owner of a high-end European fashion company. It was sold not too long ago for billions, and I’ve worn some of their shmattas.
She says now: “Our building is now not insured for flood damage. Instead of paying the policy’s increase, [the building’s directors] voted to leave the building uninsured for flood damage. This new [flood] was Aug. 10, and there was a similar incident in May.
“I’d just finished redecorating. My contents remain uninsured. I have still not been fully reimbursed. No comment from [the other residents] whatsoever.”
Who’s laughing now, UK?
Maybe England needs a giggle due to Prince Horny’s Me-me-me-Meghan who wanted to be a princess then duchess then TV star then maybe divorced then President of the United States — whatever — but the nice, staid BBC just suddenly . . . ready? . . . brace yourselves . . . just dredged up their “funniest” British “quips.”
1. I dated a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.
2. A lady said, “Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologize.”
3. I had a great joke about inflation, but it’s hardly worth it now.
4. Female gossip’s bitchy, but when men do it it’s called a podcast.
5. Do a joke about the Titanic — just to break the ice.
6. How do celiac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag.
7. My friend only tries Starbucks, not the rivals. He’s Costa-phobic.
8. In the “How not to surrender” competition, I won hands down.
9. Nationwide looked silly when they opened their first branch.
10. Grandma says she’s in her “twilight” years. I love that. What a great film.
These were the FUNNIEST. No wonder they lost their Empire.
The BBC should’ve included the one about the man who saw his wife going into the movies with a strange man. But he didn’t follow them. He’d already seen the picture.
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
