From Critiquing Tom Brady to the KHive: Winners and Losers of 2024
The year kicked off like a tipsy person on a weeklong binge and wrapped up like someone high on glue for a whole year. In simpler terms, what just transpired in 2024?
A Kennedy teamed up with a Republican. The Democrats changed candidates just four months before the polls closed. MAGA vibes dominated MSG, and the far left’s new darling is a wealthy white individual who took out a CEO in Midtown Manhattan. Joe Rogan emerged as a key influencer while Donald Trump pulled a shift at McDonald’s.
The atmosphere was chaotic and full of surprises.
At least we could count on Taylor Swift for a bit of stability: She keeps racking up wealth, dominating NFL discussions, and inspiring grown men to sport friendship bracelets.
Yet amidst the turmoil, a bit of rationality resurfaced. Cancel culture, DEI, trans absurdities, and groupthink began to fade — while free speech experienced a resurgence.
The line between politics and pop culture became nearly impossible to distinguish. Kamala Harris’ “brat” persona and Trump’s awkward “YMCA” dance captured the public spotlight (the latter even became a favored celebration among athletes).
However, it was clear that only one side came out on top.
The pantsuit suffered a 0 and 2 record in presidential elections following Kamala Harris’ harsh defeat in November. (I predict the first female president will wear a skirt and be a Republican.)
Harris never measured up, despite efforts from the Dems and the media in the KHive to portray otherwise. Speaking of failures, the Democrat establishment was exposed for hiding Joe Biden’s cognitive decline while assuring us he was undertaking daily Iron Mans. Influential figures like Barack Obama lost their clout and charm after spreading alarmist narratives and criticizing black men for supporting Trump over Harris.
Trump may be hard to keep down, or out of the White House. He faced four indictments and was found guilty by a Manhattan jury related to the Stormy Daniels hush money case — yet he still emerged more powerful and prominent in 2024. He built a new coalition of working-class supporters, voiced the discontent with Biden’s policies, and, aided by Elon Musk, facilitated a significant political shift.
Trump’s victory brought a crushing defeat for Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, who managed to convict the soon-to-be 47th President only to see the case mired in uncertainty. Bragg’s fortunes also hang in the balance after subway Samaritan Daniel Penny was acquitted earlier this month.
While it seemed that men were dominating politics in 2024, women were thriving in sports.
Indiana Fever’s Caitlin Clark shined brightly — earning Rookie of the Year, leading her team to the playoffs, and spiking WNBA attendance figures.
The league is reaping monumental rewards, though some individuals, like Washington Mystics co-owner Sheila Johnson, were reluctant to acknowledge Clark’s impact.
At the Paris Olympics, Simone Biles made a stunning return and Katie Ledecky became the first female swimmer to win gold at four different Games.
Simultaneously, Australian competitor Raygun showcased her unique approach to her sport of breakdancing — and our patience for nonsense.
In 2024, edgy comedy flourished. Netflix’s outrageous “The Roast of Tom Brady” featured the former star taking more hits than he did throughout 23 NFL seasons, mocking every untouchable topic. The show also propelled Tony Hinchcliffe and Nikki Glaser into the spotlight.
Shane Gillis made a remarkable return to comedy, hosting “Saturday Night Live” five years after being let go from the show. He’s also rejuvenating Bud Lite in its post-Dylan Mulvaney phase.
Yet, the term “freak off” has entered our vocabulary, thanks to hip-hop mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs, whose declining reputation stems from his alleged sexual encounters.
The classic allure of sexiness returned. After an extended apology period for, well, selling lingerie, Victoria’s Secret staged a fashion show featuring scantily clad models. The “SNL” episode hosted by Sydney Sweeney sparked a cultural discussion while proving that the appeal of a nice figure is back. Moreover, Jeremy Allen White bared all for Calvin Klein advertisements, reminiscent of the golden days of underwear marketing featuring Marky Mark Wahlberg.
Haliey Welch, known as the “Hawk Tuah girl,” emerged as a viral sensation. The 21-year-old factory worker shot to fame the old-school way: by drunkenly making a controversial joke. She launched a podcast but became embroiled in a meme coin scandal that tanked, leading to allegations of a scam. She went off the radar and is now reportedly cooperating with lawyers.
Welch’s story serves as a cautionary example about the fleeting nature of viral fame.
Last year, Spotify cut ties with “f–king gifters” Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. This year they faced a flop with “Polo” — making their $100 million Netflix contract seem increasingly precarious.
Hunter Biden landed a significant pardon, but the sun seems to be setting on the Biden family’s long-standing control. At least Jill Biden can still use the title “Dr.”
As we move into 2025, there’s a lingering optimism that we are heading towards improvement. Now, if only we could unravel the mystery surrounding drones causing gridlock in New Jersey skies.
