LGBTQIA+ — this gay man didn’t order this bowl of alphabet soup

Once upon a time, Gay Pride Month was simple. One letter — G — focused, mainly, on men who love men. Lesbians did not. But somehow, they fit aboard the all-encompassing G bandwagon.

Pride Month now has as many consecutive consonants as a Serbian street sign. These extra letters represent people whose presence makes many gay men wonder, “When did they leap on our bandwagon?”

To serve a mixed metaphor: “LGBTQIA+? Waiter, I didn’t order this bowl of alphabet soup.”

Plenty of other gay men repeatedly tell me that they, too, want to return their soup to the kitchen. They whisper for fear of being overheard by the Cancelista mobs.

After a drink or two, they ask me: How did we get shoved together with those with whom we have so little in common?

Lesbians? Our attractions run in opposite directions.

Bisexuals? At least these sexual centrists are with us — sometimes.

Transgenders? Particularly concerning surgical removal of penises: Just say, “No!”

Queers? Some applaud this term, but I consider it the ugliest homophobic slur — the N-word against gays. Merriam-Webster defines “queer” as “sometimes disparaging + offensive” and “ODD, STRANGE, WEIRD.” Why would gay men embrace this self-humiliating label?

Intersexuals? Huh?

Asexuals? There is no intersection in the Venn diagram of gay men who enjoy sex and people who do not. This disjunction rivals a steakhouse with a vegan section.

+s? This foreshadows more letters — and mathematical symbols? — to come.

The identity-politics left has dragooned every non-heterosexual onto the “LGBTQIA+” bandwagon. Gay men never debated nor voted on this.

Imagine dozing off as an American and then awakening as a “member of the CAM+ community” blending Canada, America, Mexico and other nations that “identify” as CAM+. Likewise, the left labors to rebrand blacks as BIPOCs: Blacks, Indigenous and People of Color. Again: When did we vote on this?

Countless gay men are frustrated with being associated with biological males who declare themselves transgender, “identify” as females and then trounce biological females at swimming competitions, track meets and other athletic contests. Some of these “women” reject gender reassignment surgery, preserve their penises and — according to teammates of notorious University of Pennsylvania swimmer Lia Thomas — still date females.

Even worse: Transgender activists are desperate to present this to first graders. New Jersey Democrats are pushing Advocates for Youth’s half-hour lesson plan. “Pink, Blue and Purple” introduces 6-year-olds to “gender identity and gender role stereotypes.”

In this exercise, teachers tell kids: “You might feel like you’re a girl even if you have body parts that some people might tell you are ‘boy’ parts. And you might not feel like you’re a boy or a girl, but you’re a little bit of both.”

This disgusts many gay men who also worry that when transgenderism degenerates into “We’re coming for your kids” territory, it paints bullseyes on our backs. We do not need the transgender crowd to reinforce among nervous parents the ugly stereotype that if you scratch a gay man, out pops a pedophile.

Pederasts deserve immediate arrest if they sexually touch minors. Fortunately, only a small, rotten sliver of gay men ever abuse little boys.

But this fact blurs when normal gay men get shoehorned into the same “identity” with the stars of Drag Queen Story Hour and the militant transgenderites who crave immediate access to 5- through 8-year-olds in Florida classrooms.

How long before some parent snaps, “They’re not getting their nasty hands on my little Billy,” storms into a gay bar with a rifle and starts firing?

It is beyond time to abandon the fiction that there is a community of Ls, Gs, Bs, Ts, Qs, Is, As, and +s holding hands and singing ABBA songs on a fabulous bandwagon.

The other passengers may do as they please. But gay men should feel free to depart this giant, unrecognizable, collective-identity vehicle.

And we will live happily ever after.

Manhattan-based political commentator Deroy Murdock is a Fox News contributor.