Our Government: A Punchline for the United States

The anti-Trump protesters who rallied on April 5 adopted the somewhat ambiguous theme of “Hands Off,” which even some of their supporters found puzzling. This raised several intriguing questions, such as: “Whose hands?” and “Off what — or whom?”

The popular interpretation suggested that the hands belonged to Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, and the target of their concern was the untouched integrity of the federal bureaucracy.

These protesters seemed intent on keeping the government in its current state.

There’s a distinctive kind of liberal conservatism that believes nothing should ever change — that nature should remain pristine and urban areas should stay undeveloped in this so-called best of all worlds.

Progressivism, once a force for change, has morphed into a persona resembling a bewildered grandmother, hesitant and apprehensive about the frenetic pace of contemporary life. From this viewpoint, government is seen as a mechanism to freeze society and the environment in a comfortable stasis.

The only area permitted fluidity is gender. Everything else, particularly government, is viewed as “settled science,” fixed indefinitely.

During Barack Obama’s presidency, a couple of slogans emerged to illustrate the sanctity of government.

One was “Government is the name of the things we do together,” which, if accurate, would validate my long-standing belief that every baseball team operates as an independent state.

Another proclamation was “You didn’t build that,” suggesting that the government was responsible for everything, hinting at a world where NASA supported Musk’s SpaceX instead of the other way around.

Vaudevillian failures

In terms of government, the Obama era might as well be ancient history. Today, those catchy slogans only serve as punchlines: We’ve come to know too much.

We understand government as a clattering suit of armor worn by a befuddled president during four chaotic years.

We are gaining insight from within as DOGE delves into the rabbit hole, audits the curiosities of Wonderland, and unveils how taxpayer money is allocated by its bureaucratic jesters, Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Did the United States government, victorious in two world wars and a Cold War and the frontrunner in placing humanity on the moon, actually finance transgender comic books in Peru? 

This point is debated, but one would need a heart of stone not to chuckle at the inquiry.

Post-Biden and post-DOGE, government has transformed into a comedic spectacle. Its failures resemble a vaudeville show — a sequence of uproarious blunders on stage by pompous and oblivious officials.

The discussion has shifted from questioning whether government is responsible for building everything to whether it can construct anything at all.

Interestingly, some disillusioned progressives are joining in the laughter.

Two prominent leftist thinkers, Ezra Klein and Derek Thompson, have penned a thought-provoking book, “Abundance,” which forwards the idea that progressive ideals are unattainable through progressive methods.

For instance, transitioning society from fossil fuels to renewable energy remains a mere dream under the sluggish regulatory framework that liberals cherish.

Procedural complexities — as the authors term it, “procedural kludge” — stifle advancement. Due to this internal inconsistency within progressivism, stagnation will always prevail.

Klein and Thompson are theoretically staunch advocates for expansive government, yet practically, their quest for progress positions them against the immobilized beached whale that is government at every level. While criticizing the unfortunate creature in an attempt to save it, their derision carries an undercurrent of amusement.

‘Hard to even talk about’

Klein presented his arguments to Jon Stewart, a legitimate comedian hosting the semi-humorous “The Weekly Show.”

In a viral segment, he tried to convey the 14-step process required by the Biden administration’s “Build Back Better” bill for those wishing to bid on a portion of the $8.7 billion designated for building EV charging stations.

These steps involved extensive planning, mapping, reviews, and more planning — culminating in a “five-year action plan” — followed by consultations and challenges from the states, then cycling back to the beginning. By Step 7, Stewart’s face was visibly contorting, while Klein was laughing uproariously.

“It’s hard to even talk about this, man,” Klein lamented. “After submitting their five-year plans, their letters of intent, Step 7 states that the states must present an initial proposal — an initial proposal . . .”

“And what the [expletive] did they apply for?” Stewart erupted in playful frustration.

“I must emphasize that this was the Biden administration’s own process for its own bill. They intended for this to occur. This is how liberal government operates now,” Klein added.

He continued, “Step 12 states that states must conduct a competitive sub-granting process.”

To which Stewart responded with something along the lines of “OMFG . . .”

This moment echoed Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First?” skit politically. It also highlighted how dramatically the political landscape has altered. The actions of a highly progressive administration, evaluated by two equally progressive individuals, could only be met with laughter regarding the absurdity of it all.

It raises a valid question: Will Klein’s and Thompson’s liberal credentials shield them from repercussions? Historically, those on the stagnant left who challenge its orthodoxy face harsh consequences.

By rendering government a punchline, Klein edged dangerously close to sounding like those scheming oligarchs, Musk and DOGE.

Moreover, the Klein-Stewart comedic exchange, which occurred on March 26, was followed by a lengthy interview with the DOGE leadership team conducted by Bret Baier of Fox News.

This segment garnered attention as it revealed that Musk’s associates weren’t merely tattooed Millennials with nicknames like “Big Balls.” This group included high achievers like the co-founder of Airbnb, a successful banker, and even a rocket scientist.

Throughout the interview, there were bizarre and amusing anecdotes about the federal government — each participant shared a version of “A funny thing happened to me on the way to the DOGE.”

Retirement cave

Here’s a glimpse of the stories shared:

“Currently, there are 700 different IT systems at NIH.”

“Over 15 million people . . . over the age of 120 are listed as alive in the Social Security system.”

On the flip side, “more than $300 million in Small Business Administration loans . . . were issued to individuals under the age of 11.”

“There’s actually only one bank account used to distribute all the funds that go out of the federal government.”

“The federal government has approximately 4.6 million credit cards for 2.3 to 2.4 million employees.”

The story about the retirement cave intrigued me the most, as it evoked the cinematic portrayal of how Washington operates.

“It turns out there is actually a mine in Pennsylvania that contains every paper document for the government’s retirement processes,” Joe Gubbio, the Airbnb co-founder, explained. “Now imagine this enormous cave filled with 22,000 filing cabinets stacked ten high to hold over 400 million pages. This process began in the 1950s and has largely remained unchanged for the last 70 years.”

Baier, who resembles a commuter from The Shire in “Lord of the Rings,” could not match Stewart’s variety of bewildered expressions or exclamations. He maintained a straight face, but occasionally the absurdity of our governmental system visibly affected him.

“Time out, time out,” he would interject, hoping for a clearer explanation.

None was forthcoming.

Obvious glitch

It’s striking that in this purportedly polarized era, we observe fervently anti-Trump writers and staunch MAGA supporters appearing on consecutive days, sharing laughs about our absurd government.

They are united by one significant insight: The operation of our nation makes sense only as a comedy.

What should we take from this?

It is healthier to deride power than to idolize it — this illustrates that Americans, despite our irritating tendency towards trends, possess a firm grasp on reality.

We observe an immense complexity of regulations and rules, enforced by countless agencies and millions of bureaucrats, all consuming $6 trillion annually, and rather than witnessing drama or romance, we see a farce — much ado about nothing.

However, there’s a significant flaw in this line of thinking.

We reside in a representative democracy. The rules and regulations were enacted by people we elected. The agencies were established, and the bureaucrats appointed by our officials. The funds were taken directly from us by the IRS.

At a certain moment, the laughter may begin to wane. The human comedy, of course, is never fully resolved, but in this instance, the subject of ridicule suddenly feels uncomfortably close.

If we are the government, then the joke is ultimately on us.