Why are you lawyers so expensive?
Nancy Chemtob. New York divorce lawyer. Her splits include high types Mary-Kate Olsen, Tory Burch, Bobby Flay.
“I also dumped my own husband. It was not fun. We had difficulties. And I paid my own divorce lawyer. The ex hasn’t married again.
“He’s now living with someone. I remarried and I have a good one now.”
Why are you lawyers so expensive?
“All we have to sell is our time. If you spent $100,000 in Bergdorf, would you then tell them you should now get free stuff?
“We’re expensive because time is all we have to sell. Every client thinks they overpaid.
“A psychiatrist sent me his best friends. Said they’re hopeless. I spent one year of litigation with them and they’re now back together.
“Their family couldn’t do it, their psychiatrist couldn’t and I did it.
“With same-sex divorces and divvying up same things bought and worn, we just put all in a list and appraise it.
“If a Birkin bag’s worth $10,000, whoever gets it gets $10,000 in their column.
“We appraise the assets then distribute them and basically flip coins as to who goes first.
“Some clients think they’re important, and I’ve fired a few.
“Two said, ‘You can’t fire me,’ and I said, ‘Yes, I can.’
“I charge you the same as anybody who’s paying by credit card and has debt. Listen, every single client thinks they overpaid.”
Moral combat
More law.
Once, New York values subjected those who fostered disorder, vandalism and broken windows to receive punishment.
Rockefeller drug laws demanded caging lawbreakers.
Not now.
Now told old ways are “too conservative” and the new societal, partisan ways get based on personal policy agenda.
It is affecting our city.
Musician gives grads crescendo
Jazz at Lincoln Center. Wynton Marsalis, given a U of Michigan honorary degree, gave Saturday’s commencement address.
He told the grads “avoid processed foods and ignore paper-thin celebrities.”
He also warned about artificial intelligence. Saying, “You translate the future to the past. AI is not going to go to the bathroom for you.”
How doo-doo in the loo denotes a boo-boo, who knows.
Fare fortunes
Tocqueville restaurant in Union Square. East meets West.
Japanese omakase and French-American sensibility. Like jumbo poached white asparagus with eggs mimosa and caviar, aged Acquerello carnaroli risotto with peas, spring onions, red cow Parmesan, Hudson Valley foie gras plus whatever’s brouillade of pheasant egg with chives and Royal Ossetra caviar.
Some days they even serve up a psychic.
Back in ‘Time’
Mr. Sopher from Utah writes requesting help in rereleasing Eddie Fisher’s oldie TV show “Coke Time.”
Says it had good guests like Diahann Carroll, Patti Page, Teresa Brewer, Florence Henderson.
If anyone knows how to get this done to help Mr. Sopher and forwards me the information, I will happily ship it to wherever Utah is.
So this little girl asked, “Mother, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’?”
And her mom replied, “No, honey. Most begin with ‘If I am elected.’ ”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
