Why We Oppose Making the Great Woke North Our 51st State

Picture having a misguided individual living in your attic.

This is someone who doesn’t contribute anything meaningful to the household—only regurgitating trendy slogans—while expecting full support.

You might hear this person stomping around at odd hours, loudly proclaiming, “Trans women are women!” or “Defund the police!”

Then, come morning, they’d expect breakfast and spending money without lifting a finger.

A nightmare scenario, right? Increasingly, I believe that’s what it would feel like if Canada were to become America’s 51st state.

It would resemble dealing with an unruly teenager lurking at the top of this great nation, siphoning off resources, causing embarrassment, and clouding your political discourse with obscured ideas.

We often hear about Canadians resisting the notion of their serene nation being absorbed into a Greater America.

I’d argue we need more pushback from within the U.S.—particularly from the Republican side.

Honestly, think about it: this vast 51st state with 41 million residents would be a serious electoral and economic headache.

This week, President Trump raised the stakes on the Canada discussion.

He suggested that if Canada were to become “our cherished Fifty First State,” then all those hefty tariffs on its imports would “completely vanish.”

I enjoy Trump’s teasing of Canada as much as anyone; I had a laugh when he called Justin Trudeau “Governor Trudeau.” I’m eager to see him poke fun at the new Canadian Prime Minister, Mark Carney, in a similar manner.

But let’s reconsider, Mr. President. Please stop flirting with this notoriously eccentric nation.

This is a populace that voted Trudeau into office—a leader so far left he refers to “peoplekind” instead of mankind and shows up with “Eid Mubarak” socks, behaving like an overly enthusiastic schoolgirl on shows like “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

Who do you think the electorate of this 51st state would elect to the White House? That’s right, the Democrats.

I have a cautionary tale for those in Trump’s camp eyeing Canada.

Here in the UK, we have a “Canada situation”—it’s called Scotland.

I have a fondness for Scotland. It’s a beautiful country filled with good people.

But politically? It’s become a woke thorn in our side.

It resembles a festering sore of absurd ideas that often drains resources from our fine nation.

It’s fitting that, like Canada, Scotland occupies a prominent position within our kingdom, serving as a source of numerous political and economic dilemmas.

The UK—specifically England—subsidizes Scotland’s economy.

Scotland is currently grappling with a massive national deficit of 10.4% of GDP, over twice that of the UK as a whole, which stands at 4.5%.

To sustain Scotland, we pour in additional funding. Remarkably, people in Scotland enjoy £2,417 more in public spending per person than the UK average.

These significant handouts originate from the more productive regions of the kingdom—mainly England.

Essentially, Scotland is our welfare recipient. The 57 million people of England are burdened with supporting 5.5 million Scots—it’s our taxes that enrich them and shield them from financial despair.

It’s not difficult to envision that the 51st state of Canada would similarly leech off the rest of America.

America’s GDP dwarfs Canada’s—who do you think will be on the hook if things go awry?

I doubt New Yorkers or Angelenos would agree to subsidize a nation that has historically looked down on America and its constituents.

And what do we receive in return for our support? The electoral equivalent of a dismissive wave.

For the past 18 years, Scottish politics have been dominated by the Scottish National Party (SNP), which controls the devolved Scottish Parliament.

How can I put it succinctly? The SNP is unquestionably one of the most eccentric, left-leaning political parties across Europe.

Imagine Justin Trudeau in a Pride-themed kilt enjoying a glass of malt whiskey—that’s the SNP.

They are the disruptors of our kingdom’s politics.

They fought tooth and nail against Brexit, which was endorsed by 17.4 million Brits, the largest electoral bloc in British history.

Instead of “Scotland the Brave,” under the SNP, it’s become “Scotland the Brave New World.”

Scotland has become a global leader in censorship. The SNP has enacted laws prohibiting the singing of “offensive” songs at football matches. People have even been jailed for singing inappropriate tunes at sporting events.

The SNP has proposed some of the most absurd hate-speech laws in Europe. At one point, they even considered criminalizing “stirring up hatred” within private homes.

If your outspoken relative visits for dinner and declares, “Trans women are not women,” would the police be called?

The leaders of the SNP have fully embraced the tenets of wokeness.

In 2023, then First Minister Nicola Sturgeon placed a double rapist in a women’s prison because he claimed to “identify” as a woman.

Many are familiar with the clip of Humza Yousaf, SNP leader, complaining about the number of “white” individuals in positions of authority in Scotland.

Could it be due to the fact that 95% of Scots are white? Just a thought, Humza.

This party of woke ideologues engaged in race-baiting and trans-focused agendas distorts UK politics.

Regardless of whether the British people elect Conservatives or Labour, there’s always a cadre of smug naysayers in the north looking to undermine democracy with their divisive ideologies.

That’s Canada for you.

It, too, is a hyper-woke country that loves to censor “incorrect” opinions.

It’s a nation excessively remorseful about its past—it even has a designated National Sorry Day!

It’s a land where self-righteous leaders like Trudeau can ascend to power, yet economically lag significantly behind the United States.

Do you genuinely want it to become the 51st state? It would severely hinder the moral and economic revitalization that Trump has initiated.

Protect America. Forget Canada.

Brendan O’Neill is the chief political writer for the British online magazine spiked.