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21% of Australians Ready to Party for Halloween, While 79% Prefer to Hide from Sugar-Crazed Kids


Halloween has made its way down under, where it traditionally wasn’t a major celebration.

Samhain is a festive time of year when the Celts decided to host a party for the dead, because why not invite some ghosts to spice up the party?

It starts at sunset on Oct. 31 and ends 24 hours later, like a cosmic last call for the departed.

This joyful gathering is the predecessor of our modern Halloween.

The clever Celtic Pagans, in their wisdom, thought it would be great to mark their New Year by welcoming the season of death. Because celebrating Happy New Year while facing the impending doom of winter is quite a festive twist, isn’t it?

On this special day, the Celts believed the veil between the living and the dead was as thin as a politician’s promise. This allowed the dearly departed to drop by for a cup of tea and a chat. One can only imagine the awkward small talk.

Fast forward to today, and the essence hasn’t changed much. Modern pagans still celebrate with a variety of rituals that would surprise your typical accountant.

They dance, feast, take nature walks, and build altars to honor their ancestors.

These altars are filled with various symbols. Apples, pumpkins, and other autumn produce are carefully arranged to signify the end of the harvest. Skulls and skeletons are added for good measure, to remind everyone that this is a party with a touch of death.

Family photos are included, turning the whole event into a morbid version of grandma’s mantelpiece.

And of course, the highlight is the special Samhain bread! Because apparently, even spirits get hungry.

One can only hope the ghostly visitors appreciate the effort and don’t request gluten-free options.

The Great Celtic Tradition

The great Celtic tradition has morphed into a tradition of splurging on costumes like sexy nurses or old vampires.

Roy Morgan reports that a significant 21 percent of Australians will be participating in Halloween this year.

One can assume that the other 79 percent will be hiding in their homes, ignoring the constant knocking of sugar-fueled children.

A Fly in the Pumpkin Soup?

It’s the 35-59 age group leading the way, with 34 percent ready to celebrate like it’s 1699. Close behind are the under-35s at 25 percent, probably because they haven’t realized yet that hangovers get worse with age.

One can only imagine the chaos when these two groups clash at the local Woolworths, fighting over the last bag of mini Mars bars.

But hold on! There’s a setback in the festivities.

It appears that Halloween spending is down $40 million from last year.

ARA CEO Paul Zahra attributes this to “softened discretionary spending habits due to the cost-of-living pressure.”

One might suggest that Australians have finally realized that paying $50 for a polyester superhero costume is simply insane.

Yet, like a zombie coming back to life, Australians keep “embracing these festive seasonal moments.”

Because nothing says “I’m struggling financially” like buying an inflatable skeleton for your front yard.

45 Percent of Halloween Spending Goes to Trick or Treating

The spending categories range from questionable to questionable.

Forty-five percent will participate in trick-or-treating, perhaps to teach children the valuable lesson of accepting candy from strangers.

Thirty-eight percent will stock up on treats for the trick-or-treaters, while 37 percent will don costumes, likely to hide their embarrassment from their more sensible neighbors.

Will Barbie Be Australia’s Most Popular Costume Again?

Last year’s top costume was Barbie.

One can only hope this year’s trend doesn’t shift to an Oppenheimer theme, or we might see armies of pretend physicists wandering the streets, muttering about “becoming death, the destroyer of worlds.”

And don’t forget our furry companions. Because subjecting ourselves to this madness isn’t enough, we must also embarrass our pets.

Petbarn, always seizing the opportunity, offers everything from pumpkin hats to dragon costumes for dogs. Because nothing says “I love and respect my furry friend” like dressing them up as a mythical fire-breathing creature and parading them around the neighborhood.

In conclusion, despite economic challenges, Australians are determined to celebrate this discounted Celtic festival with the zeal of a tipsy leprechaun at a potato famine.

Trick or treat, indeed.

The real trick is on our wallets, and the treat? Well, that’s for the retailers, isn’t it?



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