The Parental Alienation Debate: A Battle for Control
Madison Welborne revealed that she didn’t fully understand her childhood experiences until she learned about “parental alienation.”
“I went from being a happy, outgoing, confident child to being diagnosed with childhood depression and anxiety disorder at 9,” she shared in an interview.
She disclosed that her mother alienated her from her father for two decades, a truth she only uncovered at 28.
“Discovering the concept of parental alienation was a moment of clarity for me. It helped me make sense of what had happened,” she explained. “Knowing the truth allowed me to heal, reconcile with my dad, and create a better life for myself.”
Despite efforts to eliminate it from the Canadian legal system, there is a backlash against the term “parental alienation.” This theory suggests that one parent can manipulate a child to become estranged from the other parent psychologically.
In January, 250 feminist organizations across Canada jointly urged the government to legislate the banishment of “parental alienation” from courtrooms. They argued that some parents misuse the term in family court disputes to silence parents and children reporting family violence by alleging, without clear evidence, that the other parent is practicing alienation tactics.
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This approach puts children at risk of being forced into the hands of abusive parents by the courts.
“Their abusive parent may claim, ‘The other parent is alienating me.’ And these children are placed in situations where they face sexual abuse, physical abuse, and psychological trauma,” noted advocate Tina Swithin. “We cannot take that risk.”
Additionally, Ms. Swithin mentioned that the term parental alienation is not recognized by the World Health Organization or the American Medical Association.
Nonetheless, those aiding families experiencing parental alienation believe that banning the term would be detrimental.
“Almost everyone you explain this to says, ‘Yes, I know someone going through this,'” remarked Toronto lawyer Brian Ludmer. “I believe it is widespread, a significant social issue that demands a solution.”
Mr. Ludmer, an advisory member of the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization and the International Support Network for Alienated Families, has been involved in high-conflict court cases for more than a decade.
Ms. Welborne, who underwent parental alienation as a child, highlighted the significant impact on children.
“It’s truly heartbreaking because when you’re a child in this situation, it feels like you’re mourning the loss of a parent, as if they have passed away,” Ms. Welborne shared. “That’s how it was for me. I had given up on my dad.”
She recollected that before turning 7, her father was her closest companion.
“I was incredibly close to my dad before all of this unfolded,” she expressed.
Opposing E-Petitions
Over recent months, two conflicting petitions have gained enough signatures to receive a response from Canada’s justice minister. These petitions debate whether parental alienation is a form of child abuse or if the term itself is being misused.
An e-petition, initiated in August 2023 and supported by Liberal MP Pam Damoff, urged the government to address parental alienation to enhance the justice system for the protection of women and children. The petition amassed 1,140 signatures before closing in November 2023.
Justice Minister Arif Virani emphasized that the courts are responsible for determining what is in the child’s best interest.
“When a child’s rejection of a parent seems baseless, and it appears that one parent is influencing the child against the rejected parent, the child may be labeled as ‘alienated,'” he noted on March 20.
He added, “In cases involving allegations of family violence, the court will examine the specific criteria related to family violence in determining the child’s best interests under the Divorce Act.”
A counter-petition, launched in October 2023 and supported by Conservative MP Ziad Aboultaif, called for parental alienation to be classified as child abuse. The petition received 649 signatures before closing in January.
In his response to this petition on March 18, Mr. Virani asserted that family courts are best suited to address the matter and emphasized that it is not a criminal issue.
“Family courts are the most appropriate to handle cases where children resist or decline parenting time after separation or divorce,” he stated. “A child’s refusal to have contact with a parent should be evaluated within the context of family court orders and the child’s best interests, rather than through criminal courts.”
Battle Leads to Wellness Retreat Cancellation
Ms. Swithin’s advocacy against the theory of parental alienation has spread from California to Canada, resulting in the cancellation of a wellness retreat for alienated parents and grandparents in British Columbia in April.
Lawyer Mr. Ludmer, listed as one of the three “parental alienation experts” who would have led the retreat, along with organizer Kathleen Reay, had their plans disrupted.
Ms. Reay opted to call off the retreat after the facility received disruptive and emotionally distressing emails and calls.
“Considering all factors, my team and I decided it was best to cancel the retreat for that weekend,” she stated.
‘Wake Up Other Alienated Kids’
Ms. Welborne, through the Anti-Alienation Project that she founded, is using her personal experiences to reach out to other children facing similar challenges.
“I felt compelled to awaken other alienated children because, wow, I’ve managed to completely transform my life,” she shared.
She emphasized, “There are many kids currently alienated from their parents without even realizing it. If society denies its existence, people will remain oblivious.”
