Strong Grandparent-Child Relationships Boost Health for Both
Whether you had a strong and loving relationship with your own grandparents or not, it’s worth nurturing those relationships with your own children or grandchildren whenever possible. Evidence is mounting that close grandparent-grandchild relationships can help to improve physical and mental health on both sides.
One of the most painful results of the COVID-related isolation policies of the past couple of years has been the disruption of certain important family relationships, including those between grandparents and their grandchildren.
Grandparents often play an important but sometimes undervalued role in the lives of their grandchildren, providing stability, support, and a tangible link to the family’s history. Think of the beloved family recipe, photo album, story, or tradition that has been passed down through the generations.
William Sieben, a Minnesota-based mental health therapist, said: “There is something incredibly healing about the telling and retelling—reprocessing—of stories. When parents and grandparents can interact in a process of storytelling alongside the child, inclusion and authenticity emerges.”
Today’s grandparents, who generally live longer than those of previous generations, often go even further, helping with child care as well as giving financial support. And in times of trouble or uncertainty, grandparents can provide a stabilizing and comforting presence for their grandchildren.
When researchers from the University of Hamburg asked students aged 7 to 10 about their experiences, feelings, and behaviors during the COVID-19 pandemic, those children who didn’t see their grandparents during the first year of restrictions reported more stress, a lower sense of well-being, and a higher risk perception regarding COVID-19 infection.
A study from the UK, which was published in the February 2009 issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, surveyed more than 1,500 youth between the ages of 11 and 16 and found that youth with a high level of grandparent involvement in their lives had significantly fewer emotional and behavioral problems than their less-supported peers.
Interestingly, however, the benefits go both ways. Grandparents who have positive, regular involvement in their grandchildren’s lives regularly report less depression, and some research shows that these relationships can help grandma and grandpa stay mentally sharp, as well as lower the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease and other cognitive disorders.
Grandparents who are involved in their grandkids’ lives may also benefit physically. Playing with children, attending sports events or recitals, or going to the playground or aquarium together supplies extra physical exercise as well as social interaction. There’s even evidence that helping care for grandchildren may lead to a longer life for the grandparent.
However, there are some limits on how much care is too much. While a moderate amount of involvement seems to positively boost mental and emotional health, heavy involvement (such as taking over full-time child care duties) may have a detrimental effect.
And although what’s meant by “moderate” involvement can vary widely from person to person according to circumstances, an Australian study found that those grandmothers who spent at least one day per week with their grandchildren showed the most benefits, while those who spent five days per week or more with their grandkids benefited significantly less or not at all.
Grandparents who have taken over the life-altering role of raising their grandchildren also face unique and often difficult challenges. Today’s families face plenty of complicating factors that can include divorce or separation, addiction, interpersonal conflict, and geographical distance.
In cases where the relationship between grandparent and adult child has been broken or strained, it’s possible that allowing a relationship between grandparent and grandchild could have a therapeutic effect on all involved.
Sieben noted: “Watching grandparents interact with grandkids—which is often done in a more healthy way than they parented their own kids—teaches and heals the parent’s own hurt or confusion from childhood. It can promote a reconciliation of sorts, thereby allowing the parent to be more emotionally available to their child.”
When it’s possible to have healthy grandparent-grandchild relationships, it’s worth nurturing these important connections for the benefit of all.
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